forgive me for not writing for a while. i was to busy gaining acceptance into the seal social elite! the other day i was asked if i wanted to join an over 18 swim team, of sorts. i don't know a lot about it as it is still in the works, my agent is still in negotiations with the organizer. that's right! the walrus is big time. so when i find out more, i will let you know.
first of all, i think i broke my 50 yd. record today. i swam the 50 in just under 45 seconds (44.67). i believe that is my personal best. the waters at the local YMCA were relatively calm today especially compared to the last 3 days. oh man the things i have seen. lets begin with monday.
Monday: i pull into the parking lot and notice that there are an unusual amount of cars here today. after checking in i go to the window in the weight room to see what the situation is in the pool. i notice quite a few people in there but it is unclear how many are actually swimming and how many are just loafing. either way, there is only one lane available. i had to act fast. i briskly walk into the locker room and see a kid, probably in his early 20's taking a shower. at first it was difficult to know if he was going to swim or just got out. although looking back on it, if he had just gotten out of the pool, then he would have been in the senior water aerobics class........
he leaves the shower comes back to the locker room, opens his locker. i'm thinking he's done and i start to put on the speedo. then he cracks a monster energy drink takes a swig, puts it back in his locker and walks out to the pool. great, i decided swimming is not in the cards, i will lift some weights.
a little frustrated, i go to the gym and start lifting. after a while i look out the window and that kid is frog swimming. frog swimming is the dog paddle equivalent to breast stroke. head above water, moving at a ridiculously slow pace. now i realize that you have to start somewhere but man, i can't believe that that swig of monster didn't give him michael phelps like speed.
Tuesday: i know i said i was going to leave old people alone but seriously, do they just not care about the rules posted in large print? NO SHOES ON THE SWIMMING DECK. i didn't realize that this rule can be interpreted to mean "no shoes on the deck, but it says nothing about croc's in the pool." the gaggle of laddies left over from the aerobics class were in full force hindering the ability for people to swim.....again. as i swam around them in a slalom fashion, they of course are oblivious to the fact they are in the way of not just me but two other swimmers. as i swam by one lady who kept backing up into my lane i notice she was wearing croc's. seriously? croc's in the pool? after a few laps i get tired of going around the lady, so on my way by i gave her a nice splash of water from my hand that then a few kick splashes. i realized her hair wasn't wet before...... :).......she harrumphed at me then decided to get out. good riddance.
Wednesday: another busy day at the pool. this time i decided i wasn't going to let it deter me from swimming. i jumped into the lane with the Olympian. at first i was a little apprehensive just because i didn't want to get in his way. but after a few laps i realized that it really wasn't that difficult.
i have started a regiment to try and get a better work out. i heard butterfly guy say that he swims 10 200's, with 15 second breaks in between. i decided i would do something similar, at least 6 100's with 45 second rests. it has been working pretty well. i have made myself do AT LEAST as many crawl stroke laps as breast stroke. i use the breast stroke to keep swimming even though i am tired. on the last 100 i make myself do the whole think crawl stroke.
i haven't lost any weight, or even inches around the middle, but my pecks are getting pretty toned (read: my boobies are getting smaller.)
Thursday (today): a good swim, beat my personal best for the 50. not much to mention about today other than a good all around swim with no lane lines....................oh right, except for the old lady that decided to swim across all the lanes getting in my way and the only other lane swimmer. again, seriously? are you freakin' nuts? what makes her think this is A) a good idea and B) not going to bother or get in the way of anyone? sheeesh
sorry for the long form rant. this is what happens when i don't update more often.
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Something so small, can mean so much...
last night i bought something from Walgreen's to take to the YMCA with me the next day. this item is something i should have been using the whole time, but i was lazy. it is so simple, so expected, and so......hygienic. yet as i was drying off, the item caught my eye, it all came clear to me......i am going to be using the YMCA for AT LEAST 3 more months. i inadvertently committed myself to this workout regiment all because i bought this thing that i already have at home thus wouldn't need another. what is this item that seems to have written my future for 3 more months in the gym? deodorant. not only is it deodorant, it is antiperspirant. i don't use antiperspirant but thought it would be good to use after working out for obvious reasons.
as i looked at this stick of old spice, i realized then and there "i can't take that home. i don't use antiperspirant. i have to use it here." i understand that you might think, dude, it's just deodorant. my response to you is simply this; it's not just deodorant, it's antiperspirant, if i take that home, the $3.79 will go to waste. work out i must or this stick was bought in vain.
i purposefully gave myself no time frame when i started swimming so i would have no goal and if i wasn't going to continue, i wouldn't let myself down for not attaining that goal (only self loathing and ridicule would come from quitting.)
i don't think i can fully explain through text or even verbal communication the realization that came to me when seeing the red and white stick of old spice. all i can say is that it came to me quickly and directly, i am going to have to pay $38 at least 3 more times.
as i looked at this stick of old spice, i realized then and there "i can't take that home. i don't use antiperspirant. i have to use it here." i understand that you might think, dude, it's just deodorant. my response to you is simply this; it's not just deodorant, it's antiperspirant, if i take that home, the $3.79 will go to waste. work out i must or this stick was bought in vain.
i purposefully gave myself no time frame when i started swimming so i would have no goal and if i wasn't going to continue, i wouldn't let myself down for not attaining that goal (only self loathing and ridicule would come from quitting.)
i don't think i can fully explain through text or even verbal communication the realization that came to me when seeing the red and white stick of old spice. all i can say is that it came to me quickly and directly, i am going to have to pay $38 at least 3 more times.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Falling off the deepend, as they say.
today and yesterday were struggles for the walrus at the pool. quick tangent, though i have classified myself as elephant seal status, i am still going to be the walrus, a walrus with elephant seal status if you will. a little tubby around the middle and a mustache, but graceful underwater. at least i think so. but i digress.....i had a poor showing at the pool yesterday, actually i performed well but when i got out of the pool...... not so good.
i was only able to take a half hour lunch so i tried to cram as much swimming in 15 min. as possible. i decided not to give myself a distance goal, just as much as i could in 15 min. i got 500 yds in and i was done. not to mention that butterfly guy was looking to get in my lane because the two lanes next to me were occupied with two elderly people, talking, of course not swimming. as i got the the end i told butterfly guy he could have my lane. i got out of the pool, hit the showers, and as i stood there i realized i was totally exhausted. i was completely spent and even got a little dizzy for a second. i know realize that i can't take 3 days out of the water and expect a hole lot. needless to say it was very difficult getting my clothes back on. i started to think "do you think Jerry would send me home if i showed up in a sweater and speedo?" i thought better of it and the struggle against tired muscles and sticky skin continued for approximately 5 min. ending with me hitting my head on my locker door. excellent.
today wasn't a whole lot better but i did have the full hour to swim. i swam a full hundo doing the crawl stroke then switched to the breast for another hundo before taking a break. i was having a hard time breathing well during my strokes and i think it was because of the graphic description of drowning that i read in the new Dan Brown book that got me thinking how that would really suck, you know, to drown and all.
as i was resting, i was watching this elderly lady next to me "swimming" down the lane. before i describe what i saw i have to say that i am not trying to make fun of the unintentional comedy that i see, at least in my mind, it's just that......well.....there really are a lot of old people at the "Y", and bless their hearts, like i have said before, i would love to be swimming at their age. having said that, the lady reminded me of this teenage mutant ninja turtle "swimming" Donatello action figure that i had. the arms and legs moved but it was hard to say the ninja turtle was swimming seeming how it never went forward. however, this lady did move down the lane, but at a very very slow pace. she remained afloat as well which kinda baffled me because of how slow she was moving. it almost seemed that she was laying on top of a kick board and then just moved her arms and legs up and down. OK, that's my last old lady paragraph for a while, unless something really good happens of course.
p.s. the Olympian was in the lane next to me and for a brief down and back, i kept up with him, as a matter of fact i may have gained a little. i realize this is probably nothing to gloat about considering i probably started to swim faster when i notice i was neck and neck with him. also of course there is that small, very small if you ask me, fact that i stopped because i was tired and he didn't stop for another 20 laps or so.....
i was only able to take a half hour lunch so i tried to cram as much swimming in 15 min. as possible. i decided not to give myself a distance goal, just as much as i could in 15 min. i got 500 yds in and i was done. not to mention that butterfly guy was looking to get in my lane because the two lanes next to me were occupied with two elderly people, talking, of course not swimming. as i got the the end i told butterfly guy he could have my lane. i got out of the pool, hit the showers, and as i stood there i realized i was totally exhausted. i was completely spent and even got a little dizzy for a second. i know realize that i can't take 3 days out of the water and expect a hole lot. needless to say it was very difficult getting my clothes back on. i started to think "do you think Jerry would send me home if i showed up in a sweater and speedo?" i thought better of it and the struggle against tired muscles and sticky skin continued for approximately 5 min. ending with me hitting my head on my locker door. excellent.
today wasn't a whole lot better but i did have the full hour to swim. i swam a full hundo doing the crawl stroke then switched to the breast for another hundo before taking a break. i was having a hard time breathing well during my strokes and i think it was because of the graphic description of drowning that i read in the new Dan Brown book that got me thinking how that would really suck, you know, to drown and all.
as i was resting, i was watching this elderly lady next to me "swimming" down the lane. before i describe what i saw i have to say that i am not trying to make fun of the unintentional comedy that i see, at least in my mind, it's just that......well.....there really are a lot of old people at the "Y", and bless their hearts, like i have said before, i would love to be swimming at their age. having said that, the lady reminded me of this teenage mutant ninja turtle "swimming" Donatello action figure that i had. the arms and legs moved but it was hard to say the ninja turtle was swimming seeming how it never went forward. however, this lady did move down the lane, but at a very very slow pace. she remained afloat as well which kinda baffled me because of how slow she was moving. it almost seemed that she was laying on top of a kick board and then just moved her arms and legs up and down. OK, that's my last old lady paragraph for a while, unless something really good happens of course.
p.s. the Olympian was in the lane next to me and for a brief down and back, i kept up with him, as a matter of fact i may have gained a little. i realize this is probably nothing to gloat about considering i probably started to swim faster when i notice i was neck and neck with him. also of course there is that small, very small if you ask me, fact that i stopped because i was tired and he didn't stop for another 20 laps or so.....
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Elephant seal hits the gym
today i got the urge to lift some weights before going swimming. i found an article on menshealth.com about a 15 min. circuit training exercise. i thought i would give it a try considering the pool is very busy on Wednesdays. the circuit consists of 10 reps of sumo squats, 30 seconds of push ups (which i modified to 25 push ups.........on my knees (which i had to get a mat for because the floor hurt my knees)), 8 reps of Romanian dead lifts, 60 seconds of jump rope ( which i modified to 60 seconds on the rowing machine because they don't have jump ropes (that next time will be replaced by sit ups)), and 8 reps of standing shoulder press, then a 45 second rest before you start again. i did this 3 times then hit the pool for 300 yards of frogger like swimming to avoid more old people.
speaking of old people. old ladies, especially the frail really old ones, crack me up. when i got into the weight room to start my circuit, no one was in there. i was by myself. now, mind you this weight room is pretty narrow. you have wall, bike (the kind you sit in like a chair) , two feet (maybe 21 inches) for a walk way, tread mill, then wall. i finish the sumo squats, i lay down between the tread mills and start doing push ups (minus the mat. i didn't know it was going to hurt yet) i had just started doing my push ups 1, 2, 3....then i noticed two freakishly white shoes shuffling toward me about 6 inches at a time and the shoes never leaving the floor.....5, 6, 7.......they paused, shuffle to the left 8, 9, 10......shuffle to the right.......11, 12, 13..... pause. not a word from the bleached white shooed old lady. 14, 15, 16......i then hear a small grunt and the right shoe leaves the ground, left shoe leaves the ground. oh man she is climbing the bike.......to get around me! i am thinking to myself.....17, 18...."hold on lady i am almost done." i get up after my 20 push ups (i know i said 30 earlier but i lied. OK?) you know how i know she climbed the bike to get around me? because when i got up to finish my circuit, she got on the tread mill on the other side of me. and let me tell you, old lady shuffling her feet on a tread mill looks like a broken disaster waiting to happen.
i finish my circuit, feeling pretty good about myself, feeling in shape, kinda buff. i walk by a mirror while my head was swelling and think "nope, still fat." i am off to the pool.
the pool was filled with people again. i should have gone to the pool right when i got there because no one was in there at the time. there were approximately 8 elderly people standing around in the double lane area. this just frustrates me because i am just an elephant seal trying to elevate myself to seal status during LAP SWIM.
my arms are dead from the circuit but i still am able to bang out 300 yds. without stopping. i decide that was enough and call it a day.
my sister asked what the animal levels were and i am not sure yet :) all i have so far is manatee, narwhal, walrus, elephant seal..............seal being the top.
speaking of old people. old ladies, especially the frail really old ones, crack me up. when i got into the weight room to start my circuit, no one was in there. i was by myself. now, mind you this weight room is pretty narrow. you have wall, bike (the kind you sit in like a chair) , two feet (maybe 21 inches) for a walk way, tread mill, then wall. i finish the sumo squats, i lay down between the tread mills and start doing push ups (minus the mat. i didn't know it was going to hurt yet) i had just started doing my push ups 1, 2, 3....then i noticed two freakishly white shoes shuffling toward me about 6 inches at a time and the shoes never leaving the floor.....5, 6, 7.......they paused, shuffle to the left 8, 9, 10......shuffle to the right.......11, 12, 13..... pause. not a word from the bleached white shooed old lady. 14, 15, 16......i then hear a small grunt and the right shoe leaves the ground, left shoe leaves the ground. oh man she is climbing the bike.......to get around me! i am thinking to myself.....17, 18...."hold on lady i am almost done." i get up after my 20 push ups (i know i said 30 earlier but i lied. OK?) you know how i know she climbed the bike to get around me? because when i got up to finish my circuit, she got on the tread mill on the other side of me. and let me tell you, old lady shuffling her feet on a tread mill looks like a broken disaster waiting to happen.
i finish my circuit, feeling pretty good about myself, feeling in shape, kinda buff. i walk by a mirror while my head was swelling and think "nope, still fat." i am off to the pool.
the pool was filled with people again. i should have gone to the pool right when i got there because no one was in there at the time. there were approximately 8 elderly people standing around in the double lane area. this just frustrates me because i am just an elephant seal trying to elevate myself to seal status during LAP SWIM.
my arms are dead from the circuit but i still am able to bang out 300 yds. without stopping. i decide that was enough and call it a day.
my sister asked what the animal levels were and i am not sure yet :) all i have so far is manatee, narwhal, walrus, elephant seal..............seal being the top.
Monday, October 5, 2009
Elephant seal status with hardly swimming
today was a very busy day at the pool. i think there was an old lady swimming class, actually i know there was. there were many residule old ladies left bobbing up and down in the pool when i got there and a solid five minutes after. i had to be in the "4th" lane, which is really 2 lanes that aren't seperated. i began swimming and just swerved around them as they stood and bobbed. after swimming 100 yds. i looked over to see if i could get in a lane with someone. my options were bleek. lane 1, life gaurd lady before her shift, definately seal status. lane 2, old man olympian, again, seal status. lane 3, old man olympians old friend. i am going with manetee status (two below walrus. manetee, narwhal, then walrus.) he was side stroking the whole way. he would side stroke for one lap and then rest for what had to be about one minute at least. don't get me wrong i like the side stroke, but he should be in the residual old lady bobbing lane with the one lady that was actaully swimming, or should i say moving her arms and legs but not really going anywhere. i'm just bitter....i hope to be swimming still when i am in my 70's too.
to save you from a full rant, i will just say that i only swam about 250 yds. as the crow flies (so i am going to add about 50 yds. to make it 300 yds.) i was dissappointed that so many people started showing up. i think i will start going at noon instead of 11.
anyhoo, in swimming those 10 lengths of the pool, i crawl stroked all but three laps. i am going to say that i have moved up to elephant seal status. i really wanted to keep going because i felt so good, but alas, as my boss said to me in me 6 month review on thursday "you are a pretty passive guy aren't you Danny?"...........for the most part, yes i am passive. i couldn't handle all the people so i got out after swimming only 10-15 min.
tomorrow should be better. tuesdays and thursdays are generally empty, and i hope that is the case tomorrow. in my dissappointment the only thing for lunch that sounded good was a hot and ready for $5. hard to beat that.
to save you from a full rant, i will just say that i only swam about 250 yds. as the crow flies (so i am going to add about 50 yds. to make it 300 yds.) i was dissappointed that so many people started showing up. i think i will start going at noon instead of 11.
anyhoo, in swimming those 10 lengths of the pool, i crawl stroked all but three laps. i am going to say that i have moved up to elephant seal status. i really wanted to keep going because i felt so good, but alas, as my boss said to me in me 6 month review on thursday "you are a pretty passive guy aren't you Danny?"...........for the most part, yes i am passive. i couldn't handle all the people so i got out after swimming only 10-15 min.
tomorrow should be better. tuesdays and thursdays are generally empty, and i hope that is the case tomorrow. in my dissappointment the only thing for lunch that sounded good was a hot and ready for $5. hard to beat that.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
The walrus now understands his competition
today i swam a solid 475 yds before i had to stop because the life gaurd girl had to put out the lane lines. normally i would think something like "damn it! i was doing so well!" but this time i thought "thank god, the walrus needs to stop."
today's swim was based more on stamina than speed. on my crawl stroke, i taught myself to breathe on both sides so i can go 3 strokes without breathing. i did a lot more crawl stroke today than breast stroke. i think the day off yesterday made a big difference for some reason.
with a renewed sense of confidence, being able to swim for a longer stretch than before, i decided the last 4 lengths of the pool i would do with fins. in the lane next to me was a clearly accomplished swimmer. he was doing the medally, and was pretty good at it. i was going down the lane on my back with my fins, swimming pretty fast i might add, when i looked to my left and noticed i was being passed by that guy.......doing the butterfly. when i got to the end i took off the fins and started crawl stroking a solid 10 yards in front of him. he had now began to breast stroke. guess what? he beat me.
when i got out of the pool i said to the life gaurd, "that guy is fast. he beat me doing the butterfly when i had fins on." she agreed that he was very good. then i mentioned the old guy that comes in most of the time and that he would beat me doing the crawl stroke when i was using fins and a kick board. she said, "oh yeah, that guy is really good, he is an olympian. he won the gold medal in the senior olympics this year." that made me not feel so bad. but still, i had fins on for crying out loud!
today's swim was based more on stamina than speed. on my crawl stroke, i taught myself to breathe on both sides so i can go 3 strokes without breathing. i did a lot more crawl stroke today than breast stroke. i think the day off yesterday made a big difference for some reason.
with a renewed sense of confidence, being able to swim for a longer stretch than before, i decided the last 4 lengths of the pool i would do with fins. in the lane next to me was a clearly accomplished swimmer. he was doing the medally, and was pretty good at it. i was going down the lane on my back with my fins, swimming pretty fast i might add, when i looked to my left and noticed i was being passed by that guy.......doing the butterfly. when i got to the end i took off the fins and started crawl stroking a solid 10 yards in front of him. he had now began to breast stroke. guess what? he beat me.
when i got out of the pool i said to the life gaurd, "that guy is fast. he beat me doing the butterfly when i had fins on." she agreed that he was very good. then i mentioned the old guy that comes in most of the time and that he would beat me doing the crawl stroke when i was using fins and a kick board. she said, "oh yeah, that guy is really good, he is an olympian. he won the gold medal in the senior olympics this year." that made me not feel so bad. but still, i had fins on for crying out loud!
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