Magic Bullet Express

as i type this, i am watching an infomercial for "The Magic Bullet Express." this is the same set up as the "Magic Bullet" infomercial. you have the host and the english inventor guy in a kitchen. around the kitchen island you have 2 couples and an old lady. couple number one is the hip young couple that likes to eat out because cooking at home is too dificult. couple number 2 is the middle aged couple with the fat husband that wants to eat everything. now this old lady is more grandmotherly than the old lady from the "Magic Bullet" infomercial. you know, the old lady wearing her bathrobe while smoking a cigarette. this old lady is the one that has all the cooking experience. oh wait there are 2 old ladies now. the new one looks like estelle getty in the golden girls. she must be the old lady that doesn't believe in new fangled products.

i love the cheesy responses to the question posed by the english inventor guy. "who likes chopped salad?" young hip wife "i love chopped salad but it takes to long to make it at home." the guy throws a bunch of salad shit in the food processor like machine, and bammo! chopped salad in 30 seconds.

new developement. "who likes cheesecake?" everyone in unison "i do!" of course the host asks the grandmotherly old lady, aparently her name is martha, "how long does it take you to make cheesecake?" she begins talking and telling him "about 20 min." and while she is talking he makes the crackers and filling for the cheesecake. "gee martha i just made a cheesecake ready for the oven in 30 seconds."

they begin to run down all the food they have made and as they do, the fat man shows up in the kitchen, "wow, when can we eat?" and goes for the food right away. the fat man i noticed sitting in the "living room" watching a sports game for most of the infomercial. the last time we saw him, the host pulled nachos out of the oven, passed it around, everyone took a chip, then the fat guy grabbed the whole thing and said "these are delicious, when are we having more." and takes the plate of nachos to his seat in the "living room".

now i have to say, even with the horribly hilarious acting, infomercials certainly do a good job of making you believe that you need the product. my favorite is when they show people trying to chop celery as if its like trying to saw through tile or something. what i wanna know is if you can use it for multching leaves and branches. why don't they show that? the ginsu knife can cut through a shoe and saw tile, then still be able to cut a tomato with precission. would you actually do this? probably not, but why not show the strength of "The Magic Bullet Express" by throwing in some branchs or maybe some portland cement mix and water. if they did that, i am buying it.