Good Times, Noodle Salad

A running commentary of my first Jumpercise.

2011-11-14T11:09:00.000-08:00

An inner dialogue of my first jumpercise (that's what i am calling it anyway.) Mind you i have to do this outside because my ceiling in the garage is too low.

OK, Danny boy, LET'S DO THIS AAAAAHHHHH! 9:31 am

*Jump* 1 *Jump* 2 *Jum...shit*. *Jump* 1 *Jum...SHIT!*. *Jump* 1 *Jump* 2 *Jump* 3 here we go, good rythm, good speed, *WHACK (Rope hit the gutter)*. *Jump*Jump*Jump* there it is, feeling a little tight in the calves but no biggy, it'll go away. *Jump*Jump* Crap i am tired....*Jump*Jump (THWACK, right on the end of my toe)* DAMN IT!. well, i think that will be good for now. Got a good sweat going, feel a little burn, not including my broken toe. Can't breathe, all signs of a good work out. Time? 9:32:12 am.

The Seal is at it again, only this time.....

2011-11-04T13:21:00.000-07:00

Unlike some people these days that like to follow the latest diet and exercise trend, i like to make up my own. The main reason is i don't want to modify my diet, like, at all. I was forced to give up my seal ranking at the pool because of a somewhat inconsiderate boss at a company i no longer work for decided to join the Y and go at the same time i had been going for many months. Anyhoo, bitterness aside, the seal will no be jumping rope at home.

I came to the realization that jumping rope is not only kinda fun but inexpensive and gets me wicked tired every time i do it (which is very rare). I recall my days in gym class as a 5th grader enjoying the "Jump Rope for Heart" contests they had. I do realize that when i begin this new workout, I will be reminded of the fact that I am 31 years old and things that used to be easy are really very difficult and makes me wonder it our athletic peak is around age 12 not 25. I used to be good at hula-hoops, rope climbing, chin ups, monkey bars and chasing girls at recess for the soul purpose of putting them under the "kissing machine" (an A/C unit that hung on the wall of the Special Education shack). I can't Hula-hoop, climb a rope, do more than 2 pull ups, the monkey bars, chase girls, or believe that the special education kids were literally in a SHACK detached from the actual school in the back corner of the playground!

I digress. This jump roping should be exciting.

p.s. totally unrealted but did you know you can do your math with google? i just did a little math for work and needed some square roots. so i typed "square root of 1152" and it gave me the answer. man i wish i had google in middle school.

Non fat, double, tall, no whip, with foam, iced vanilla latte.

2011-03-22T11:42:00.000-07:00

Oh man, i am one of THOSE people now. I am at Starbucks....at lunch time.....writing a blog. i hope that the 8 people in here are looking at me thinking (what is that guy typing). i always wonder what people are writing or typing on their computer when i am on the train or airplane. Now i know, they are are doing nothing really other that typing/writing "i am on a plane/train/in coffee house."

One thing i have been thinking about lately is all the signage in peoples front yards on the 8 mile stretch from bellingham to lynden. There are two, count 'em, 1-2 signs on the way up here that tell us that the world is going to end may 22, 2011. they even have a big "NO" symbol with 2012 in it. there are a couple of anti-abortion signs, a sign that tells us to by local firewood.......yes, buy local firewood, and of course a couple signs about the government stealing from us and a couple calling their land a "land grab" zone.

All of these signs obviously come from passionate, convinced people, as far right as possible republicans. all are well and good, and i can understand the case for most, (minus the firewood one, that is just strange to me) but the end of the world ones are just ballsy. i like that. the balls it takes to tell not only Washington travels but Candians as well that come may 23, we will not be here. this is a bold statement and one that, i feel if they are wrong, they should be a little bit embarrassed about.

The Madness that is March...Madness

2011-03-17T19:09:00.000-07:00

This year the NCAA has is doing something that i have never seen before and am very excited about it. They are broadcasting on more than one station. CBS, TNT, TRUtv (whatever that is) and TBS. All day non stop coverage on 4 stations not to mention watching online where you can pick and switch to any game you want to watch. I can imagine that people that live for reruns of 2 and a half men, everybody loves raymond and whatever they show on TRUtv are pissed, but lets face it, 99% of those people are rooting for Wofford to take down BYU right now.

Another aspect that makes this years tournament a little different for me is that i have no money what so ever riding on any of the games. That is to say that i am not in a money bracket pool. My cousin invited me to be in his office pool (which i have won before and took home a solid purse of around $200.) This year i have paid and exceptionally little amount of time watching college basketball. i watched the 3 games between Wazzu and UW but that is it. I think i may have kicked off the season watch a Gonzaga game against Kansas St (which they lost) but that could easily have been last year. Speaking of Gonzaga, they are whooping on St. Johns right now 28-18 with 10:26 left in the first half (let's hope i just jinxed them....or am i going for the reverse hex???)

One day i will go to Las Vegas for the opening round of the NCAA tournament, take $100 and see what i can turn it into (or how many games it takes to lose it all. Either way, FREE DRINKS!!!)

I Wish I Had One Hundred Million Dollars.....HOT DOG!

2011-01-14T08:58:00.000-08:00

I had a New Years Resolution to write 1 blog a week......I couldn't even do that! I have sat down to write a couple different blogs and just couldn't get them done because my topics were, let's say, weak. One was what would happen if Burt the Cop actually shot George Bailey in the back towards the end of "It's a Wonderful Life." This topic went thin real quick. We know that Clarence wouldn't have let that happen and if he did it would be the most depressing movie in history. One thing i am trying to do is to remind myself they don't have to be long. this of course will take me some time to learn. this is suprising to no one and i know that :). SO, my topic for this one will be:

"The economy needs me to win the lottery."

Here is my 5 step plan of $1,000,000 ($600,000 after taxes).

1. pay off condo, truck, student loans. roughly $150,000.

2. buy a modest but nice house. $350,000
(down to $100,000 already)

3. $50,000 for Charlotte

4. dream vacation to the Greek islands with bells and whistles $25,000 (first class to Greece is $15,000 as it is) .

5. upgrade the Prius ($25,000 for the low end probably).

Now i know this isn't that impressive because if you are reading this, i am sure you can spend $600,000 pretty easily too. in all reality, a lot more would make it to the bank, i don't need expensive extravagant things, only extravagant vacations :). some say i have a "possession obsession" in that after i buy something i go right to the next. the thing that makes me annoying is that i just don't say "hey, wouldn't that be cool to have "x"." i say, "hey, wouldn't it be cool to have "x"," and then repeat this many, many times, research the hell out of it, talk to people that don't care about my item, if there is a store that carries it, i will camp out there at lunch time staring at it saying "should i?". when it comes to the moment where i have the money or decide to just pull the trigger, i can be standing in line holding the item in my hand, look at it and say "i don't need to spend money on this." (i am happy to report that i don't have credit card debt. i only use that for select items, mostly associated with travel.) this type of ridiculous behavior would be fixed by one type of medicine and one only, cold hard cash. if i had lots of money and wouldn't have to worry about not having any after my purchase, there would be no second thought, i wouldn't bug anybody about my obsession, i would just do and enjoy......

All that being said, i can spend $600,000 on mostly practical things in 5 moves, i can't imagine the damage i would do with $100 million. this might sound kind of cliche but the friends and family most certainly would want me to win. the more over $5 million i win, the more you win. SO, here is my announcement:

Dear Washington State Lottery Gods,

Our country needs a boost. Local economies as well as the National economy needs spenders, not savers. The stimulous package, in my opinion, was too small. I did my part as a citizen of this great nation by instantly spending my stimulous money on god knows what. It is time to start thinking about how to get people spending again and i can think of no better way than to give millions of dollars to someone who cares not for expensive imports like Lamborgini's, physics and those weird little italian bathing suits, but to someone who will buy american like Lincoln Town Cars, Gibson Guitars and whatever else i feel like because i am AMERICAN DAMN IT!

This is a tough task to complete but i am up for the challenge. of course i will need some help in reviving this economy of ours. read my lips, if you let me win $100 million (after taxes), at least $20 million (give or take) would go to friends and family. My parents alone would basically have an open account.

In these times of double dip recessions, we need people that will invest in our country, community and most important of all stability for our children. I will leave you with one question and one question only as said by the late President of the United State, John F. Kennedy; ask not what your country can do for you, ask why the Washington State Lottery Gods shouldn't give Danny Simon $100 million (after taxes)?

Thank You

My Name is Danny Simon and i approve this message

(now i need to buy a lottery ticket, i have never bought one before. i am kinda hoping for the one and done type situation.)

Acceptance!

2009-10-21T18:01:00.001-07:00

forgive me for not writing for a while. i was to busy gaining acceptance into the seal social elite! the other day i was asked if i wanted to join an over 18 swim team, of sorts. i don't know a lot about it as it is still in the works, my agent is still in negotiations with the organizer. that's right! the walrus is big time. so when i find out more, i will let you know.

first of all, i think i broke my 50 yd. record today. i swam the 50 in just under 45 seconds (44.67). i believe that is my personal best. the waters at the local YMCA were relatively calm today especially compared to the last 3 days. oh man the things i have seen. lets begin with monday.

Monday: i pull into the parking lot and notice that there are an unusual amount of cars here today. after checking in i go to the window in the weight room to see what the situation is in the pool. i notice quite a few people in there but it is unclear how many are actually swimming and how many are just loafing. either way, there is only one lane available. i had to act fast. i briskly walk into the locker room and see a kid, probably in his early 20's taking a shower. at first it was difficult to know if he was going to swim or just got out. although looking back on it, if he had just gotten out of the pool, then he would have been in the senior water aerobics class........

he leaves the shower comes back to the locker room, opens his locker. i'm thinking he's done and i start to put on the speedo. then he cracks a monster energy drink takes a swig, puts it back in his locker and walks out to the pool. great, i decided swimming is not in the cards, i will lift some weights.

a little frustrated, i go to the gym and start lifting. after a while i look out the window and that kid is frog swimming. frog swimming is the dog paddle equivalent to breast stroke. head above water, moving at a ridiculously slow pace. now i realize that you have to start somewhere but man, i can't believe that that swig of monster didn't give him michael phelps like speed.

Tuesday: i know i said i was going to leave old people alone but seriously, do they just not care about the rules posted in large print? NO SHOES ON THE SWIMMING DECK. i didn't realize that this rule can be interpreted to mean "no shoes on the deck, but it says nothing about croc's in the pool." the gaggle of laddies left over from the aerobics class were in full force hindering the ability for people to swim.....again. as i swam around them in a slalom fashion, they of course are oblivious to the fact they are in the way of not just me but two other swimmers. as i swam by one lady who kept backing up into my lane i notice she was wearing croc's. seriously? croc's in the pool? after a few laps i get tired of going around the lady, so on my way by i gave her a nice splash of water from my hand that then a few kick splashes. i realized her hair wasn't wet before...... :).......she harrumphed at me then decided to get out. good riddance.

Wednesday: another busy day at the pool. this time i decided i wasn't going to let it deter me from swimming. i jumped into the lane with the Olympian. at first i was a little apprehensive just because i didn't want to get in his way. but after a few laps i realized that it really wasn't that difficult.

i have started a regiment to try and get a better work out. i heard butterfly guy say that he swims 10 200's, with 15 second breaks in between. i decided i would do something similar, at least 6 100's with 45 second rests. it has been working pretty well. i have made myself do AT LEAST as many crawl stroke laps as breast stroke. i use the breast stroke to keep swimming even though i am tired. on the last 100 i make myself do the whole think crawl stroke.

i haven't lost any weight, or even inches around the middle, but my pecks are getting pretty toned (read: my boobies are getting smaller.)

Thursday (today): a good swim, beat my personal best for the 50. not much to mention about today other than a good all around swim with no lane lines....................oh right, except for the old lady that decided to swim across all the lanes getting in my way and the only other lane swimmer. again, seriously? are you freakin' nuts? what makes her think this is A) a good idea and B) not going to bother or get in the way of anyone? sheeesh

sorry for the long form rant. this is what happens when i don't update more often.

Something so small, can mean so much...

2009-10-14T14:47:00.000-07:00

last night i bought something from Walgreen's to take to the YMCA with me the next day. this item is something i should have been using the whole time, but i was lazy. it is so simple, so expected, and so......hygienic. yet as i was drying off, the item caught my eye, it all came clear to me......i am going to be using the YMCA for AT LEAST 3 more months. i inadvertently committed myself to this workout regiment all because i bought this thing that i already have at home thus wouldn't need another. what is this item that seems to have written my future for 3 more months in the gym? deodorant. not only is it deodorant, it is antiperspirant. i don't use antiperspirant but thought it would be good to use after working out for obvious reasons.

as i looked at this stick of old spice, i realized then and there "i can't take that home. i don't use antiperspirant. i have to use it here." i understand that you might think, dude, it's just deodorant. my response to you is simply this; it's not just deodorant, it's antiperspirant, if i take that home, the $3.79 will go to waste. work out i must or this stick was bought in vain.

i purposefully gave myself no time frame when i started swimming so i would have no goal and if i wasn't going to continue, i wouldn't let myself down for not attaining that goal (only self loathing and ridicule would come from quitting.)

i don't think i can fully explain through text or even verbal communication the realization that came to me when seeing the red and white stick of old spice. all i can say is that it came to me quickly and directly, i am going to have to pay $38 at least 3 more times.

Falling off the deepend, as they say.

2009-10-13T16:45:00.000-07:00

today and yesterday were struggles for the walrus at the pool. quick tangent, though i have classified myself as elephant seal status, i am still going to be the walrus, a walrus with elephant seal status if you will. a little tubby around the middle and a mustache, but graceful underwater. at least i think so. but i digress.....i had a poor showing at the pool yesterday, actually i performed well but when i got out of the pool...... not so good.

i was only able to take a half hour lunch so i tried to cram as much swimming in 15 min. as possible. i decided not to give myself a distance goal, just as much as i could in 15 min. i got 500 yds in and i was done. not to mention that butterfly guy was looking to get in my lane because the two lanes next to me were occupied with two elderly people, talking, of course not swimming. as i got the the end i told butterfly guy he could have my lane. i got out of the pool, hit the showers, and as i stood there i realized i was totally exhausted. i was completely spent and even got a little dizzy for a second. i know realize that i can't take 3 days out of the water and expect a hole lot. needless to say it was very difficult getting my clothes back on. i started to think "do you think Jerry would send me home if i showed up in a sweater and speedo?" i thought better of it and the struggle against tired muscles and sticky skin continued for approximately 5 min. ending with me hitting my head on my locker door. excellent.

today wasn't a whole lot better but i did have the full hour to swim. i swam a full hundo doing the crawl stroke then switched to the breast for another hundo before taking a break. i was having a hard time breathing well during my strokes and i think it was because of the graphic description of drowning that i read in the new Dan Brown book that got me thinking how that would really suck, you know, to drown and all.

as i was resting, i was watching this elderly lady next to me "swimming" down the lane. before i describe what i saw i have to say that i am not trying to make fun of the unintentional comedy that i see, at least in my mind, it's just that......well.....there really are a lot of old people at the "Y", and bless their hearts, like i have said before, i would love to be swimming at their age. having said that, the lady reminded me of this teenage mutant ninja turtle "swimming" Donatello action figure that i had. the arms and legs moved but it was hard to say the ninja turtle was swimming seeming how it never went forward. however, this lady did move down the lane, but at a very very slow pace. she remained afloat as well which kinda baffled me because of how slow she was moving. it almost seemed that she was laying on top of a kick board and then just moved her arms and legs up and down. OK, that's my last old lady paragraph for a while, unless something really good happens of course.

p.s. the Olympian was in the lane next to me and for a brief down and back, i kept up with him, as a matter of fact i may have gained a little. i realize this is probably nothing to gloat about considering i probably started to swim faster when i notice i was neck and neck with him. also of course there is that small, very small if you ask me, fact that i stopped because i was tired and he didn't stop for another 20 laps or so.....

Elephant seal hits the gym

2009-10-07T21:29:00.001-07:00

today i got the urge to lift some weights before going swimming. i found an article on menshealth.com about a 15 min. circuit training exercise. i thought i would give it a try considering the pool is very busy on Wednesdays. the circuit consists of 10 reps of sumo squats, 30 seconds of push ups (which i modified to 25 push ups.........on my knees (which i had to get a mat for because the floor hurt my knees)), 8 reps of Romanian dead lifts, 60 seconds of jump rope ( which i modified to 60 seconds on the rowing machine because they don't have jump ropes (that next time will be replaced by sit ups)), and 8 reps of standing shoulder press, then a 45 second rest before you start again. i did this 3 times then hit the pool for 300 yards of frogger like swimming to avoid more old people.

speaking of old people. old ladies, especially the frail really old ones, crack me up. when i got into the weight room to start my circuit, no one was in there. i was by myself. now, mind you this weight room is pretty narrow. you have wall, bike (the kind you sit in like a chair) , two feet (maybe 21 inches) for a walk way, tread mill, then wall. i finish the sumo squats, i lay down between the tread mills and start doing push ups (minus the mat. i didn't know it was going to hurt yet) i had just started doing my push ups 1, 2, 3....then i noticed two freakishly white shoes shuffling toward me about 6 inches at a time and the shoes never leaving the floor.....5, 6, 7.......they paused, shuffle to the left 8, 9, 10......shuffle to the right.......11, 12, 13..... pause. not a word from the bleached white shooed old lady. 14, 15, 16......i then hear a small grunt and the right shoe leaves the ground, left shoe leaves the ground. oh man she is climbing the bike.......to get around me! i am thinking to myself.....17, 18...."hold on lady i am almost done." i get up after my 20 push ups (i know i said 30 earlier but i lied. OK?) you know how i know she climbed the bike to get around me? because when i got up to finish my circuit, she got on the tread mill on the other side of me. and let me tell you, old lady shuffling her feet on a tread mill looks like a broken disaster waiting to happen.

i finish my circuit, feeling pretty good about myself, feeling in shape, kinda buff. i walk by a mirror while my head was swelling and think "nope, still fat." i am off to the pool.

the pool was filled with people again. i should have gone to the pool right when i got there because no one was in there at the time. there were approximately 8 elderly people standing around in the double lane area. this just frustrates me because i am just an elephant seal trying to elevate myself to seal status during LAP SWIM.

my arms are dead from the circuit but i still am able to bang out 300 yds. without stopping. i decide that was enough and call it a day.

my sister asked what the animal levels were and i am not sure yet :) all i have so far is manatee, narwhal, walrus, elephant seal..............seal being the top.

Elephant seal status with hardly swimming

2009-10-05T11:53:00.000-07:00

today was a very busy day at the pool. i think there was an old lady swimming class, actually i know there was. there were many residule old ladies left bobbing up and down in the pool when i got there and a solid five minutes after. i had to be in the "4th" lane, which is really 2 lanes that aren't seperated. i began swimming and just swerved around them as they stood and bobbed. after swimming 100 yds. i looked over to see if i could get in a lane with someone. my options were bleek. lane 1, life gaurd lady before her shift, definately seal status. lane 2, old man olympian, again, seal status. lane 3, old man olympians old friend. i am going with manetee status (two below walrus. manetee, narwhal, then walrus.) he was side stroking the whole way. he would side stroke for one lap and then rest for what had to be about one minute at least. don't get me wrong i like the side stroke, but he should be in the residual old lady bobbing lane with the one lady that was actaully swimming, or should i say moving her arms and legs but not really going anywhere. i'm just bitter....i hope to be swimming still when i am in my 70's too.

to save you from a full rant, i will just say that i only swam about 250 yds. as the crow flies (so i am going to add about 50 yds. to make it 300 yds.) i was dissappointed that so many people started showing up. i think i will start going at noon instead of 11.

anyhoo, in swimming those 10 lengths of the pool, i crawl stroked all but three laps. i am going to say that i have moved up to elephant seal status. i really wanted to keep going because i felt so good, but alas, as my boss said to me in me 6 month review on thursday "you are a pretty passive guy aren't you Danny?"...........for the most part, yes i am passive. i couldn't handle all the people so i got out after swimming only 10-15 min.

tomorrow should be better. tuesdays and thursdays are generally empty, and i hope that is the case tomorrow. in my dissappointment the only thing for lunch that sounded good was a hot and ready for $5. hard to beat that.

The walrus now understands his competition

2009-10-01T12:06:00.000-07:00

today i swam a solid 475 yds before i had to stop because the life gaurd girl had to put out the lane lines. normally i would think something like "damn it! i was doing so well!" but this time i thought "thank god, the walrus needs to stop."

today's swim was based more on stamina than speed. on my crawl stroke, i taught myself to breathe on both sides so i can go 3 strokes without breathing. i did a lot more crawl stroke today than breast stroke. i think the day off yesterday made a big difference for some reason.

with a renewed sense of confidence, being able to swim for a longer stretch than before, i decided the last 4 lengths of the pool i would do with fins. in the lane next to me was a clearly accomplished swimmer. he was doing the medally, and was pretty good at it. i was going down the lane on my back with my fins, swimming pretty fast i might add, when i looked to my left and noticed i was being passed by that guy.......doing the butterfly. when i got to the end i took off the fins and started crawl stroking a solid 10 yards in front of him. he had now began to breast stroke. guess what? he beat me.

when i got out of the pool i said to the life gaurd, "that guy is fast. he beat me doing the butterfly when i had fins on." she agreed that he was very good. then i mentioned the old guy that comes in most of the time and that he would beat me doing the crawl stroke when i was using fins and a kick board. she said, "oh yeah, that guy is really good, he is an olympian. he won the gold medal in the senior olympics this year." that made me not feel so bad. but still, i had fins on for crying out loud!

No swimming today

2009-09-30T14:01:00.000-07:00

work didn't allow swimming today. i had to stay in the office due to meetings and what not. this is the first day in 3 weeks that i have not swam.......a little nervous. my goal to because seal has taken a slight step back...... dang you work!

Still walrus, but maybe a slightly faster walrus

2009-09-29T16:47:00.000-07:00

i wonder if an elephant seal is faster than a walrus. i am going with yes. i have moved to elephant seal status with my 50 yds. crawl sprint of 43 seconds (43.27). although the east german judge is protesting because i had too wipe the water off my goggles to see the time, i may have been in the 42 second range.

i didn't mention this yesterday i don't think, it is slightly embarrassing but that is what i am about. if i can't laugh at myself, then i will become one of those people that............well i can't think of anything right now, it's late and i am about to go home from work, woohoo! anyway, i was wearing the flippers and was using a kick board. i was cruising along at a pretty good clip when i was caught from behind by a guy who has to be about 65. he was crawl stroking in the lane next to me. granted the guy is in good shape and he is there everyday like myself but for crying out loud! i had fins on! sheeesh! he is that elusive seal status that yearn to become one day.

Monday at the pool....

2009-09-28T12:24:00.000-07:00

i really didn't feel like swimming today (already), but i am not going to stop (hopefully). i have decided that maybe i will mix it up a little. work out at the gym a few days and swim the rest. i figure as long as i go to the "Y" everyday to do something, then that will be good. however i do plan to swim more than anything else.

they have a raquetball court. maybe i will join the good ol' boys at a game of smack ball.

i didn't go for time today so i have none to report. something tells me that i am still just a few seconds behind the girls swim team time. i have figured out how to manage my laps better. since i have a horrible short term memory, i am always thinking to myself "was that lap 6 or 7, maybe i am at 200 yds, not 250yds." to help combat this short term memory loss, i have devised a system. crawl, back, and 2 breast stoke. that way i will always remember where i am at. all i have to do is remember if i am on my 3 set or my 4th. ugh.

Swimming Update

2009-09-24T12:12:00.000-07:00

first of all, the speedo still kicks ass. love that thing. i think i might be michael phelps on halloween for three reasons.

1. i am really enjoying swimming.
2. i have most of the costume. all i need is a swim cap and a bong.
3. the unintentional (intentional) comedy might win me an award at the halloween party.

today i swam the 50 freestyle in 45 (i'm going to call it 44.47) seconds. i can tell on the big YMCA clock, you bet. that is better than my monday total of 50 seconds (or 49.53 sec.). i also discovered the use of fins. makes swimming the crawl stroke so much easier and i can just focus on breathing to get the lung capacity up. the only thing that sucks is when i take them off to do the last 200 without any help. i feel like the old lady in the lane next to me that is moving but not moving......know what i mean?

Care for a swim at lunch?

2009-09-21T12:33:00.000-07:00

so i have been swimming at my lunch time in an effort to get into better shape. it has been pretty fun and i have felt the effects immediately. i even bought a speedo. never thought i would own one but to be honest, it is the best thing ever for swimming. i cut through the water like a walrus. hopefully i will get down to sea lion, but for now, walrus.

last week i think my best as far as yards was around 650 yds. today i did 800 yds in about 20 min. i did a trial for how fast i could do a 100 yard breast stroke (my personal favorite). i did it in about 2:20. not good considering that molly told me the girls swim team does it in about a buck thirty. so i have some work to do. i think my crowning achievement today was swimming 100 yards, then 200 yards, then 400 yards without stopping. i'm getting better at it.

the worst part however is when i am putting my clothes back on. i am sticky and start to sweat plus my arms are ridiculously tired. it must look pretty funny when someone walks into the locker room and sees me with my shirt halfway on and my pants around my knees, all while i am just standing there resting, waiting to get the strength to pull up my pants. hopefully i will be a sea lion soon.

A Couple Things...(Rant)

2009-06-18T11:26:00.001-07:00

first off, what is with the "this is your speed" trailer hitch thingies that the police leave on the side of the road? as far as i know, it doesn't take a picture of your license plate and then you get a ticket in the mail. if they DO do that, then i should have received a few in my day.

there is one of these retarded machines at the beginning of front street. my issue is this. can they be anymore condescending? i know how fast i am going. i don't need some machine to tell me. the only reason i slow down is because now everyone around me knows that i am going 34 in a 25, but when that thing moves, i am right back up to 34. i don't really see the point unless they assume that people can't read their speedometer. it is a step above a regular speed sign but much less than when you see a cop sitting around the corner.

item number 2. i like that the sounders have a huge following of people that know soccer and people that don't. however, if you don't know the game you do not get to yell retarded comments to the official or other team. example, girl next to Kovac at last nights game felt the need to yell at everything. an instance that turned sounders fan (me) on sounders fan (her) occurred when the referee blew his whistle to give an offsides call. i understand that offsides is somewhat difficult to understand. from where we stand it always looks like the player is onside. i am cool with people complaining about the call. that being said, this girl and her "boyfriend' yell "how can you make a call when nothing happened? are you stupid? you are in the middle of the field how can you see anything?" this, i could not let pass. i leaned around Kovac and said exactly this "are you kidding? he didn't make the call, that guy did. the referee on the sideline wearing bright orange with the flag in his hand. they call offsides." this chick was pissing us off all night so she had it coming.

another thing is, if you are going to yell things, wait until something happens to yell about and then make you statement pertinent to the situation at hand. the aforementioned girl liked to yell at random moments during the game, "you guys suck! DC isn't even a state!" granted the first time, it was a little funny, but seriously? what do you want the response to be? "you know what, you are right. it is a district. it is basically it's own country minus it's own currency." i kept thinking to myself, if you went up to 95% of the population in america and said, "where is washington?" and pointed to a map, they would point to DC. one last thing, Kovac and i sit amongst a lot of people that just like to yell random shit that can equate to listening to a song on the radio that has been edited for language. i would say something like "nice tackle you douche!" (although i don't usually say anything, but this is for instance) and the bald annoying guy with his annoying girl friend behind us would say something like, "you should learn to slide tackle from someone in major league baseball that slides into second base when they are stealing. are you a good slide tackler? NO!" good one, short and effective. what a douche.

Am I a Bandwagoner??

2009-05-26T17:58:00.001-07:00

As i was walking Lucy, i started thinking about the Sounders game this weekend. ever since i learned that the Sounders were becoming a MLS team, i have been hooked. my buddy Kovac and i decided to buy season tickets and haven't looked back since.

This weekend the Sounders played down in Colorado and i was actually a bit bummed that i wasn't going to be able to watch, let alone possibly listen to the game as i was camping at baker lake with molly and some friends. as game time approached, molly reminded me that it was game time. without hesitation, i jumped out of my camping chair, walked to the truck and turned on the radio. to my delight, the game came in on the radio. i went back to the fire, grabbed my chair, some beers and set up camp in the back of my truck with the game blasting out the back sliding window. i was in heaven. i haven't missed a game this season, whether it be actually going to the game, watching it on tv, or (as of this weekend) listen to it on the radio.

on my walk with Lucy i started to wonder, did i jump on the bandwagon? what made me start to think this was that there was a Sounders team before the Sounders FC. they were a USL team. what i am getting at is that i had never watched the USL Sounders other than when they might have been on the Fox Soccer Channel. of course i was a fan, but i didn't know who was on the team. i new that they were good, they won 3 USL Championships in the last 8 years.

as a Sounders fan though, there is always someone that can trump me. lets just say that 10 years down the road, the Sounders win a few MLS championships and all the sudden they become the Yankees of the MLS, i will be able to say that i was a season ticket holder from the beginning. however, i can be easily trumped by someone that said they were season ticket holders for the USL Sounders. i bet there are people out there that have followed them from the conception of the Sounders in 1977 in the days of the NASL.

the difference is this, the Oklahoma City Thunder fans didn't have to be Sonic fans because they were in Seattle. if you are a fan now, you didn't jump on the bandwagon of the Thunder because there was no Thunder. in the same respect if the MLS Sounders decided to be something other then the Sounders FC, let's say they were called Seattle FC, you couldn't be a band wagoner because there was no Seattle FC. my guess is that regardless of the name, there wouldn't be a USL Sounders. they would be squished out by "Seattle FC."

if the name is the only difference, other than the fact there was no MLS team in Seattle, then i am going with.........no, i am not a bandwagoner. however, i will always tip my hat and give reverence to those who were true fans of the USL Sounders, as they should for the NASL Sounders. maybe if the Tacoma Raineer's become a professional baseball team, i can say "i used to go to games of theirs when the were the Tacoma Tigers, and i saw Jose Canseco play for them." that would be sweet.

The Food Gems of Lynden

2009-05-01T11:30:00.000-07:00

i was going to rant about the swine flu and just how ridiculous it is. i also had a thought, or more of a comparison, about T-Pain and Milli Vanilli ( i will save that one for a later date.) instead, i thought i would take you through my favorite food stops for lunch on any given day. these are not in any particular order.

1. Dutch Bakery

this place is known for it's homemade pies, rolls, and soups. i like to get a half dutch sub (which i think has got be a 9 incher) and bowl of soup. my favorite soup is probably the broccoli cheddar, though the cream of potato and beef barley are delicious as well. drawback to this place is you never know how long it is going to take to get your food, plus they always seem to try and add a little extra to the your bill. "oh, that will be an extra $.50 for that." that kind of thing. this is probably my standard lunch place, mostly because it is close, plus i love soup and sandwiches.

2. East Side

this is another dutch run place. it is more of a convenience store type place but they have sandwiches that you can't get most places. you can have a pastrami w/ havarti on a croissant if you want. i like to get pastrami w/ cheddar on a foot long. the drawback here is that East Side is kind of expensive and the only stamp your sandwich card once when you get the foot long. (they used to stamp you twice.) i go here a couple times a month, usually when i don't want to go across town.

3. Subway

love me some subway. if i don't go to the Dutch Bakery, you will usually find me here. the only drawback is it is all the way across town, and the traffic on Front street flows like mud.

4. The Taqueria (sp.?)

this place is an amazing mexican restaurant that reminds me of being in puerto vallarta having tacos. they make the best fish tacos i have ever had in my life. they make a standard issue halibut taco, but the also make a market fresh fish taco. i have had mahi mahi, marlin, swordfish, and shark tacos here. it all depends on what he can get. he has the market fresh fish delivered daily. i think the mahi mahi was my favorite, but any of those fish are better than anywhere else. another plus is he makes the pico de gayo (sp?) fresh while the fish is cooking (not fried fish by the way). i can really think of no drawback to this place, it is fantastic.

5. Dutch Mothers

obviously another dutch restaurant. this place, like the Dutch Bakery, is known for it's homemade foods. you can get a oven roasted turkey dinner complete with cranberry sauce, mashed potato's and roll. however, my favorite, this is up there with the best dish in lynden, probably just one notch below the fish taco's, is the chicken Cesar sandwich with fries. when you eat this, you can feel your heart because to swear at you and tell you, "next time you eat this, i am done, you hear me you son of a bitch?" basically it is a sandwich filled with chicken and Cesar salad dressing. the catch is the bread is fried in parmesan cheese to make, what can only be described as a pocket as opposed to two slices of bread. this sandwich is to die for and that is not speaking out of turn. i am sure that someone has directly died from eating this sandwich. you can watch the fat travel through someones veins when they eat it. god i want one right. the draw back is this place is kinda spendy and i don't want to die yet. i only eat here once every 6 months, but when i do, you know what i am getting.

6. the teriyaki place

last but not least, this place used to be a burger joint called dunny's. i don't know the name of the restaurant so we call it the teriyaki place. i go here probably 25% of the time. they make a great california roll, which to me says a lot about a restaurant. the pork teriyaki plate is what i roll with. there is not a lot to say about this place other than it is a solid choice, good food, decent price, though it has gone up recently.

there are a few other places that i left off my list such as; Jake's grill (i would go here over Bob's any day of the week and twice on Sunday. it's more of a western place that serves lots of slaw, sweet potato fries, pulled pork, and BBQ sauce. i just don't go here very often, it's kind of expensive and you have to have an hour to kill. otherwise, great place.) Bob's Burgers, Safeway (excellent chow mien), Quiznos, Nut House Grill, New York Pizza Company, Leg Horns, Dutch Treat (which i have never been too), and a few other places. there are plenty of options, i just have a hard time getting to all of them.

Just another rant

2009-04-15T17:38:00.000-07:00

i understand that it is our right, nay, our duty to peacefully protest our government when we believe it to be unjust. sometimes i sympathize with the mob for what they are protesting, however does this have to happen when i am trying to get home from work? does this also have to happen on the busiest street in bellingham? and when you put the two together, does this have to happen on the busiest street in bellingham when i am trying to come home from work?

when i am on my way home, i just want to get home. i am driving from a good distance away and i see lots of flags, people and signs which say something to the effect of "stop spending my money." and one kid had a sign that said "i am too young to be in debt." my guess is the kid could give a crap about why he is there, he is just thinking, "my parents are making me hold this sign that i don't give a crap about on a day where i can actually be playing outside."

now, the guide meridian i would say rivals any of the busiest streets in anytown america. mostly for the fact that the traffic is only for about 6 blocks, yet can take about 20 min. to go from walmart to the freeway. all i wanna do is go to Joe's, see if they will fix my tennis racket, check out their "going out of business sale" and come home. normally i realize this is going to be a nightmare because joe's is on block 3 of this 6 mile clusterpoop of a street.

so i am driving, i see the protest (which lines the guide for a good 4 blocks) and i think to myself "shit, this is really going to suck." it takes me 10 min. to go the first block. i am frustrated, my blood pressure is rising. people start to honk in acknowledgment to the sign holders, people cheer. i get to the road i need to turn on to get to Joe's, an old man wearing a fluorescent jacket, jumps out in traffic like he is a traffic cop, to let people cross. i realize that the lights suck, but you know what, as a motorist, i hate those lights too. cars are blocking intersections because this douche bag is stopping for people to cross. why they can't use the crosswalk button like everyone else, i don't know. after everyone crosses, my light turns RED! i am pissed. "screw these retarded protesters, i don't give a shit, your message will not be heeded by the government, i promise you that." one lady decides to cross the guide when people are finally allowed to turn left on to it (and believe me, those people get screwed the most because that particular green arrow lasts 30 seconds). she waves her sign and the guy going to hit her, she smiles, he gives her the bird, she crosses with an angry face, "you deserved it" says i. my turn arrives, i finally get to go.

my beef is this, i know you want to be seen so you go to the busiest street. i am sorry but you don't get my support because i want to get to were i am going and get home. i don't want to see your signs, i don't want you to get in my way, now i am pissed and would not side with you if there was a vote tonight. maybe this is all very self centered and conceded but damn it, when i wanna go home, i wanna go the F home!

one last thing. let me paint a picture. if you have to go to the bathroom really bad, the line is long and it crosses a hallway. you are stopped at the hallway and people are going in front of you to get through the line. all of this while 2 people are talking to you about the meeting they just came from. you are aware of the meeting but weren't involved so you understand the most remedial points but beyond that have no understanding or feeling one way or the other. now the line is moving, you are grabbing your crotch, one thing is on your mind, and these people keep talking to you and want you to be part of the conversation. they want you, of course, to be on their side. you are getting angry now because you have to wait for a long time, yet you know that there is an empty bathroom on the 2nd floor but didn't think you would make it in time and are now wondering if it would have been faster to just go there rather than wait in line, plus these jerks keep bothering you about the meeting. (i thought about taking a different road but thought it would take longer. this is of course before i knew about the protest.) can you tell me that you would really care about what these two people are talking to you about? wouldn't you have that feeling of "some other time guys, i have one thing on my mind"? i tend to go to the place where i think "you guys are pissing me off, i don't care what you are saying and probably just to show you my frustration, would side with whatever you are against." (would i really do this? probably not but that is how i feel).

Customer service

2009-04-13T11:12:00.000-07:00

(Foreward: i have called the lady and she was the sweetest person. i didn't get 9 words into my phone call when she stopped me to tell me, "oh yes! i charged you too much i am so glad that you called. after you had left i realized that i charged you too much and i got out the phone book to try and find you to tell you what happened." she actually called all the simon's in the phone book to try and find me........i feel like a real horses ass. i still have bitterness towards the first 3 on the F-U list, but artwood is vindicated. i am glad i have small feet and a relatively large mouth, makes it very easy to shove it in there. so i am redacting what i have written about the lady.

now i have to warn you, you read, this email will have foul language. no matter how hard i will try, an F-bomb is most likely to be dropped. having said that......

what the fuck is up with customer service around here anyway? i mean, for fuck sake, if you are not doing your job, you get fired. i have just discovered that i got charged twice as much as i should have for this wax finish for our counter top. i just looked at my receipt and the hand written on says $17 and change, and the printed out one says $34 and change. not only that but it's not like she hit "x 2" on the register or anything because it is not exactly twice as much.

this is why my blood pressure is high. i swear, there is a "lets fuck with because he is too nice" sweepstakes. if i go into the place and they don't give me the difference back, look for me on the county jail website under disturbing the peace. i am at my wits end with people fucking up the most remedial tasks. i am concerned that i will knock something over, if nothing else, i will be yelling if this doesn't go according to plan.

instead of going on and telling exaclty what happened with other companies in the past month and a half, i will write a short F-U list.

1. Comcast (who just blatantly steals)
2. T-mobile (who actually stole from us)
3. Travelocity (who tried to steal about $700 from us, however Alaska Airlines understood. thank you molly :) )
4. Lynden Dutch Bakery (unintentionally tried to steal from me, but at least the girl straightened it out.)
~~5. and Artwood (for just straight fucking up. they are yet to be vindicated)~~

i am sure that everything with Artwood will work out, i have the receipts, but i am extremely pissed that i have to go all the way to fairhaven to straighten this shit out........ugh.

p.s. one time, about 8 years ago, i went to a cash machine in a gas station. the cash machine only had denominations of $20. i punched in $40 and the machine gave me a twenty and a ten.............the guy behind the counter didn't believe me, he said i must have pocketed the twenty and slipped in ten then voiced my complaint. the exchange after that went something like this;

me, "did you see me leave the store? you watched me right?'
him, "i did watch you"
me, "when did i supposedly slip this $20 into my pocket?"
him, " i don't know. the machine doesn't carry anything other than twenties."
me, "i agree, that is why i can't figure out why it gave me a ten. do you think this is some scam that i have, i go to gas stations and try and take them for ten bucks at a time?"
him, "i don't know."

i think i eventually got the money, but i had to wait for the owner of the ATM to come, and that was a lot of the same. anyway, just wanted to share that little nugget

Magic Bullet Express

2009-04-11T10:35:00.000-07:00

as i type this, i am watching an infomercial for "The Magic Bullet Express." this is the same set up as the "Magic Bullet" infomercial. you have the host and the english inventor guy in a kitchen. around the kitchen island you have 2 couples and an old lady. couple number one is the hip young couple that likes to eat out because cooking at home is too dificult. couple number 2 is the middle aged couple with the fat husband that wants to eat everything. now this old lady is more grandmotherly than the old lady from the "Magic Bullet" infomercial. you know, the old lady wearing her bathrobe while smoking a cigarette. this old lady is the one that has all the cooking experience. oh wait there are 2 old ladies now. the new one looks like estelle getty in the golden girls. she must be the old lady that doesn't believe in new fangled products.

i love the cheesy responses to the question posed by the english inventor guy. "who likes chopped salad?" young hip wife "i love chopped salad but it takes to long to make it at home." the guy throws a bunch of salad shit in the food processor like machine, and bammo! chopped salad in 30 seconds.

new developement. "who likes cheesecake?" everyone in unison "i do!" of course the host asks the grandmotherly old lady, aparently her name is martha, "how long does it take you to make cheesecake?" she begins talking and telling him "about 20 min." and while she is talking he makes the crackers and filling for the cheesecake. "gee martha i just made a cheesecake ready for the oven in 30 seconds."

they begin to run down all the food they have made and as they do, the fat man shows up in the kitchen, "wow, when can we eat?" and goes for the food right away. the fat man i noticed sitting in the "living room" watching a sports game for most of the infomercial. the last time we saw him, the host pulled nachos out of the oven, passed it around, everyone took a chip, then the fat guy grabbed the whole thing and said "these are delicious, when are we having more." and takes the plate of nachos to his seat in the "living room".

now i have to say, even with the horribly hilarious acting, infomercials certainly do a good job of making you believe that you need the product. my favorite is when they show people trying to chop celery as if its like trying to saw through tile or something. what i wanna know is if you can use it for multching leaves and branches. why don't they show that? the ginsu knife can cut through a shoe and saw tile, then still be able to cut a tomato with precission. would you actually do this? probably not, but why not show the strength of "The Magic Bullet Express" by throwing in some branchs or maybe some portland cement mix and water. if they did that, i am buying it.

I have a problem....

2009-04-08T14:44:00.000-07:00

so the purpose of rating all my music is so that i won't buy anymore cd's/music. i have discovered it cannot be helped. i have bought; the new pearl jam "ten" rerelease, AC/DC "tnt", the donnas "bitchin' ", and i think there is another but i can't remember.....oh yeah, a John Williams classical guitar album (yes the guy who wrote the score for star wars). it has taken a long time to do the rating thing so maybe it couldn't be helped. i had to do it. the other problem that i have found, yet would seem all to obvious, is that i am doing it at work. therefore it is difficult to bust out the pad of paper and calculator. the boss is gone until next wednesday so if i get a lot of work done by tuesday morning, i will tally up what i have. done and done.

Music

2009-02-24T11:44:00.000-08:00

i think i have a problem, i can't stop buying music. i haven't bought anything new since the Franz Ferdinand one, but i have been having a difficult time not buying more. i have decided to take a step back from buying new music, and evalute the music that i have on my Itunes at work.

you know how you can rate each individual song with a 1 to 5 star rating? well i have decided to listen to my Itunes on random and rate the songs individually. what i plan on doing is coming up with a list of the best albums that i own based on those ratings. this is how it will work:

1) rate all the songs 1 through 5. (since i tend to be generous, 3 will be a good song that i will listen to when i am in the mood , 4 will be a great song that i will listen to 75% of the time altogether (mood or no mood) and 5 stars, excellent song that i cannot get myself to skip even when it was not the song i was expecting to hear.)

2) after all is rated i will come up with an average star rating (ASR) for the album.

3) list that on here. (maybe even facebook)

i don't think i needed to list out the steps, but hey, it makes it feel official. now this is only to decided which album is the best that i have on my computer (at work). this list will not tell you which is my favorite band ( this is mostly a disclaimer to myself because i know that some bands will not score as well (ACDC) even though they are one of my favorite. the reason they will not score as well is because Bon Scott is the man and i only have one of his, and i don't have Back In Black as a whole.) however, i fully expect my favorite bands to be somewhere at the top.

so, this may take a while but i look forward to posting the results. ( i am very interested myself........that should go without saying, otherwise i wouldn't do it :) )

CD's

2009-02-19T18:20:00.000-08:00

I was once an Itunes guy, now i am back to CD's. I love having a CD collection, but the main reason is that when you buy music or whatever (i do have a few audio books) from Itunes, you don't actually own it. You have to "authorize" a computer to play the song, and even then you only get 5 computer authorizations. I understand this is probably to keep people from pirating music, but seriously? I think it is a little over the top. There are times at work where i can't help myself and have to buy the album right then and there (Guns N Roses: Lies, was the last one). I like to listen to music while I working and sometimes I just can't control myself.

However, Itunes does have it's uses when you are a CD buyer. You can listen to the quick snippets of songs on an album that you are considering buying and decide from the snippets if you would actually like to purchase them. Sometimes I wish I would do this all the time. I bought the new Franz Ferdinand CD today solely based on the song on the radio. After hearing the song on the radio on my way home from work, I decided to stop by the neighborhood Best Buy and if they might have the album. (side note: to be honest, i went in thinking i was going to by the Nirvana box set if it was at a favorable price. but i was thinking about possibly picking up the Franz Ferdinand album. I went in, found the Nirvana set, it was $50........i decided that since i don't like Courtney Love, i didn't feel like giving her that much money. so alas i found the FF album, it was $13.) I found it, bought it, drove home to listen to it. (home is only about 2 min. from BB and i didn't want to fumble around with the stupid cellophane.) I toss the album into the DVD player, plop on the couch, press the play button, and start reading my GQ about LeBron James.

I was glad to hear that the first song on the album was the one on the radio. I like it, I bob my head, things are starting well. 3 songs in, I am thinking "OK, not bad, not great but not bad." I was waiting for the "next radio hit" to reveal itself. 6 songs in "OK, i think this is one long song, sounds like it's been on for about 15 min." 10 songs in "I am done with my LeBron article, I don't want to listen to this song anymore."

Question: Why is it that i always get sucked into the radio song that makes me want to buy the album only to find out that the rest of the CD A) sucks or B) has 2 songs, the one i like on the radio and then another song that for some reason lasts for about 45 minutes and has pauses every 3-5 min.? For the record, i have bought albums much worse than this one. i could actually feel pretty good about playing this album in the background while i through a party or do some stuff around the house. i am not even going to say that it is a bad album, but i will say it's not that great either.

(i didn't have time to proof read, hopefully it isn't as bad as some of mine on here.)

Riddle me this.....

2008-09-04T08:59:00.001-07:00

as i have been somewhat listening to the speeches of our presidential candidates, i start thinking about all the cliches that are said. i can't help but wonder if any of what they say they will do actually gets done. there are two quotes that i found, in succession, from Rudy Giuliani on MSNBC that got me thinking.

Giuliani promised that McCain would “lower taxes so our economy can grow.”
“He will reduce government spending to strengthen our dollar,” Giuliani said.

-"the conventions" MSNBC.com

doesn't McCain want to continue the war on Iraq? now i am certainly not one that understands the economy very well, but i have to pose the question; how can you lower taxes, reduce government spending and fund a war? like i said, i am no expert but does this mean he is going to pay for the war with his own money? if that is the case, then i might have to reconsider.

If you didn't watch, don't read.

2008-06-05T08:14:00.001-07:00

i hate reality shows. i don't like to watch them. i don't feel they reflect our societies best. if you ask me, most of the contestants are on par with the lady from Toad Suck, Arkansas (yes it's a real place) describing what the tornado sounded like as it ripped through her double wide. however the contestants usually from another demographic that the vixen i have just described, but i digress.

last night i witnessed a contestant on top chef make it to the finals when she should have been kicked off about 4 weeks ago. there have been 11 shows, she has been in the bottom 6 times, IN A ROW! that means for the last 6 episodes, she has stood in front of the judges with 1 or 2 other people and chastised by the judges because there food was the worst.

the way it has been going, i can see her actually having somewhat of a shot at winning (all though i don't really think so. Richard and Stephanie have collectively won the last 4 shows). but the faact that she even has a possibility is beyond me.

if she wins will bravo explode? the title of the show is top chef! she is clearly not the top chef. 6 TIMES IN A ROW. need i say more? this could equate to the movie Dogma and the happenings of Bartlebee and Lokee. if they were to get back into heaven, everything as we know it would explode. God cast them out of heaven never to return, they of course, want to return. and the only way for them to get back into heaven is to die, which means the need to cut off their wings to become mortal so they CAN die. (they are basically fallen angels). if they return to heaven, it is against Gods will and everything will explode because God is always right. NOW, if my prophecy is correct, if lisa were to win top chef, Bravo TV as we now know it, would explode in flames, and sink into the depths of hell forever. this would be sad because i do actually like Top Chef. maybe if she wins, instead of the whole fire and brimstone thing, it should just change it's name to "Good Enough Chef, Not Great, But Good Enough." that would be a tragedy.

I can't believe it!

2008-06-03T21:24:00.000-07:00

well, i have done something that i am not proud of. i said that i never would do it, i have resisted the temptation until now. i finally caved under peer pressurei feel somewhat ashamed and quite frankly a little scared. i don't think it is something i will regret but i could get into trouble. molly knows and is ok with it, but i still can't help but feel a little akward about it.........i have joined facebook........

Mawage

2008-03-11T15:03:00.000-07:00

I can't believe it, as of Saturday, i will be an adult. I am getting married! i'm very excited about it. I am really looking forward to being married to Molly :). Molly Simon :)

The Email

2008-02-22T07:26:00.000-08:00

I had to include this exchange of emails that my friend Kyle and I had on one, obviously :), productive day at work.

Danny to Kyle:

have you heard of a guy named kenny wayne sheppard? i'm sure that you have, do you know that he ripped off yellow ledbetter? it's called while we cry, it's pretty good though. i feel like i have mentioned this to you before, if not :) if so, you can go suck a lemon.

tootles

Kyle's response:

My mouth is currently agape, stuffed to capacity with a particular citrus; colored not unlike said ripped-off ledbetter. Coincidently, I am crying. Your feeling of de ja vu is not unfounded.

Danny's response:

Bravo good sir, bravo, upon reciept of you electronic mail message, that i most propmtly translated with my optical and neurological receptors, i was, to put it bluntly, stumped. your literary and phonetical prowess is far beyond my own, for your message left me with nothing short of egg on my face. i requested the assitance of my fellow white collar compatriots to help decipher said message. upon doing so, i realized that i had written a particular sentance that held the key to your delightfully composed message, (now clearly meaning, you already told me dirt bag) the key being of course a lemon. you can imagine my consternation once i realized this and would have to explain it to said co-workers. again, bravo mr. serrano, bravo.

Kyle's response:

I like to speak in riddle. It's neat and it takes up company resources. I am under no illusion that you used an online thesaurus to come up with the word "consternation". I am impressed no less at your effort.

Danny's response:

actually i got it from a friends episode. i did check the thesaurus in word to find out what it was used for :). i must say that your message was impressive. it's fun talkin' all smart like and stuff ain't it.

Good stuff

On a plane to Japan, and this is what i think about?

2008-02-15T20:03:00.000-08:00

Before you read, just remember, you might be better off doing anything else than read this. It is a total waste of time

Something from my journal on the way to Japan with Molly 11/17/07;

Here i am, on a plane to Japan, listening to Vince Neil sing about how the road is hard and he wants to go home. so many things should be running through my head about what Japan is going to be like, how do i order a beer, what is up with the "hole in the ground toilet." You can't make words up in Japanese and expect them to know what you're saying like when you are in Mexico. "El Beero por favor." (Side note: if you have been to mexico or are spanish, by my last statement, you can tell that i have never been to Mexico. I'm sure that if you are in a bar, they will assume you want a beer. If you are on the street "El Beero," probably won't get you a beer. End side note.) So as i listen to my Ipod, my attention is not on Japan at the moment. My attention is on wondering how can these rock stars sing such sissy songs and yet are supposed to be such bad asses. You have to admitt though, they have always been a little suspect. They look like half the women they sleep with.

Let's be completeley honest here, whatever they did to get the chicks, it worked. Money, fame, and women, is it possible the "Power Ballad" was just another facet for each group to appeal to the girls who were on the fence about, "who is better, Vince Neil, Brett Michaels or Sebastian Bach?" Or did these long haired rockers actually have something to say?

My Theory is, at least in the instance of these three frontmen, the most famous power ballads from Moetly Crue, Poison and Skidd Row, are about the termoils of being on the road. They have got to be thinking to themselves, life is hard on the road for months on end so lets write a song about it, and you know what? Chicks dig sensativity, we will get chicks. My hypothesis to the aforementioned theory is......both. They have something to say AND they say it to get chicks. Freakin' Genius.

Waste of time wasn't it? I warned you....

A little about my posts.

2008-02-15T19:36:00.000-08:00

I am a draftsman at an architecture firm. I do enjoy it but lets face it, starring at a computer screen for 8+ hours a day, your mind starts to wonder. Many of the things that i think about are completely random. I must say that i never thought i would have my own "blog" but you know what, if you ask me, it beats myspace. :P